On Eye Contact..HET! and Pushiness7 октября 1011

My daughter Amanda has been visiting for the last 9 days and so I’ve been touring around the city with her. Manda’s back in the US now after a nice visit and so I’m back to my keyboard.

One thing you realize almost immediately in Москва is that people here make no eye contact whether it’s walking down a sidewalk, on the Metro or anywhere else. And it’s not just me. Many of our friends and colleagues have made the same observation. People look straight ahead and ignore your (at least) visual presence. And if by some chance your eyes do meet, there’s no acknowledgement. Just a stare that seems to look right through you. In the US even people you don’t know walking down the street will often nod their heads or say “hello” or “good morning”; not so in Москва.

In the US Embassy where I make at least one stop there every week (you can get jalapenos and other items you’re used to in the US but are hard/impossible to find in Москва in the commissary) it’s like a whole different world…You enter the gate manned by Russian security guards. Once you’re on the inside you’re on US soil and everyone you pass in the hallway or see at the commissary nods and usually say “hi” or “good morning.” Once you leave the Embassy and are on the outside…stone silence, looking straight ahead…again.

You get the impression that from this lack of expression Russians are cold, inhospitable people but actually you’d be wrong. When you’re in a one-on-one conversation whether it’s Russian, English or hand signals (usually it’s this one for me to date – I can’t speak Russian yet but I’m getting better at reading Russian now that I know the Cyrillic alphabet) people, like most places, are warm, friendly, engaging and very willing to help even if the directions you’re asking for are in Russian and you don’t understand a word being spoken.

We talk about this and we think this a trait left over from the Soviet era where you were afraid to speak with others thinking that you might be speaking to a government agent who might report your conversation to the authorities Especially if the conservation was uncomplimentary of the government, military or police. People minded their own business and kept out of trouble by looking straight ahead, stone silent. It’s been 20 years since this might have been a problem but I guess old habits die hard. It’ll be interesting to see if future generations demonstrate the same behavior.

The other thing that takes getting used to is that Russians in public are (physically) pushy. When they bump into you (or you them) there is no effort to say “извините” (excuse me) or even acknowledge they’ve made contact. This often happens on the Metro. The Metro tunnels in Москва are dug very deep into the ground – much deeper than you’re used to if you live or work in New York City. The up and down escalators are often times 50 – 80 meters long and very steep. And then there is the unspoken secret that everyone apparently knows but won’t acknowledge that there’s a secret Metro underneath the public Metro that Stalin build in case he and his family had to make a hasty escape. It apparently is still used by government officials today.

Any way, the lines to get on the escalators, especially during afternoon rush hour, are very long and funnel down from 5-10 people wide down to a single person. People think nothing of cutting in front of you and never politely offer you to go ahead. Shoving is common. Holding a door for the person behind you - doesn't happen. They just forge ahead bumping and shoving without even acknowledging you whether your Russian or a foreigner. “извините” doesn’t exist here either. It’s kind of like driving in Москва. The only rule there seems to be is: If there’s a space, move like hell to fill it! Getting cut off while your traveling 120 km/hr is no problem and seems to be encouraged in a vicious sort of way – and most of the time the rule rather than the exception (see previous post of driving).

You get used to this pretty quickly. It only takes a few days to stop responding to passersby whether on the sidewalk, a car or the Metro. You bump into someone or they bump into you and no response - nothing. That’s the way it is here – you get used to it…life goes on in Москва.

До следующего раза, (Until next time)

Борис (Boris)